Five POWERFUL Ways to Invigorate Your Telegraph Business!

October 8, 2020

I Am Sexually Attracted to Major Feminist Icons, Therefore I Am a Major Feminist Ally

June 30, 2020

Someone Please Explain How We Missed These Baffling Moments from the Original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Movie

June 27, 2020

Experts: In Case of Fire, Ska Dance to Safety

June 27, 2020

How Many of These Classic Sequels to Forrest Gump Have YOU Seen Lately?

August 23, 2019

Please reload

October 8, 2020

Twenty years ago my first-born son announced, "Dad, you really need to find a new business. It's the Nineties. The telegraph is out. TV's cool now."

Well, Franklin, fuck you. The year is much later now, and fashi...

June 30, 2020

Ever since I started crushing hard on Courtney Love in sixth grade, women's issues have been third or fourthmost on my mind.

June 27, 2020

Nothing in the world is exciting. Or, at least, not as exciting as finding a whole movie for free on Youtube. Last week, somebody uploaded the entire original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film. Hell yeah!...

In case of fire, experts advise the public to ska dance to safety.

"When a fire breaks out, the wisest course of action is to ska dance toward the nearest exit," said Ben Hammer-Jones, chair of the National Fire...

August 23, 2019

1. Robocop 2

Beglitched by painful memories two years after his murder and subsequent transformation into law enforcement cyborg Robocop, Forrest Gump battles a violent drug syndicate in neo-retrofuturistic Detroi...

August 23, 2019

Death is a hard thing to think about no matter how much money you make.

August 19, 2019

Technically a small bear, the Beethoven breed is able to perform a fairly complicated waltz with minimal instruction.

June 22, 2016

Maybe it was love at first bite, like pizza. Or maybe it took forever to develop, like a daguerrotype. Either way, you fell hard for Emily Dickinson.

June 3, 2016

Hi there. It's Mark. Quick question. Am I supposed to be dating you right now? Because I can't figure it out.

I wish high school wasn't so complicated. It's really hard to know what's expected of you in these kind...

May 31, 2016

Color us surprised.  

Most of the time, you can tell when a song is about murder. Popular tunes like "Hey Joe" and "When It's Springtime in Alaska" just have that icky murder-feel about them. But did you know ther...

Please reload

Who's Inside 
Search By Tags
  • Facebook Basic Black
  • Twitter Basic Black
RSS Feed

Love you, buddy.

Like what you read, even if it wasn't on this site?

Donate now to help us procure fresh fruits and vegetables   

© 2018 by These H1N1 Times. Made in USA