THESE H1N1 TIMES

Twenty years ago my first-born son announced, "Dad, you really need to find a new business. It's the Nineties. The telegraph is out. TV's cool now."

Well, Franklin, fuck you. The year is much later now, and fashi...

Ever since I started crushing hard on Courtney Love in sixth grade, women's issues have been third or fourthmost on my mind.

Nothing in the world is exciting. Or, at least, not as exciting as finding a whole movie for free on Youtube. Last week, somebody uploaded the entire original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film. Hell yeah!...

In case of fire, experts advise the public to ska dance to safety.
 

"When a fire breaks out, the wisest course of action is to ska dance toward the nearest exit," said Ben Hammer-Jones, chair of the National Fire...

1. Robocop 2

Beglitched by painful memories two years after his murder and subsequent transformation into law enforcement cyborg Robocop, Forrest Gump battles a violent drug syndicate in neo-retrofuturistic Detroi...

Death is a hard thing to think about no matter how much money you make.

Technically a small bear, the Beethoven breed is able to perform a fairly complicated waltz with minimal instruction.

Maybe it was love at first bite, like pizza. Or maybe it took forever to develop, like a daguerrotype. Either way, you fell hard for Emily Dickinson.

Hi there. It's Mark. Quick question. Am I supposed to be dating you right now? Because I can't figure it out.

I wish high school wasn't so complicated. It's really hard to know what's expected of you in these kind...

Color us surprised.  

Most of the time, you can tell when a song is about murder. Popular tunes like "Hey Joe" and "When It's Springtime in Alaska" just have that icky murder-feel about them. But did you know ther...