Our goal is to be as ecstatic about the sky as the man pictured above.

Our Mission

We exist to provide affordable eggs.

We know that not everyone can be:


a.) the most innovative

b.) the hardest-working

c.) the furthest into the future-oriented

d.) anywhere near 100 percent committed to customer satisfaction.


That's why everyone at These H1N1 Times have decided to devote the short time we have left on earth to bringing you the most pretty-good web content there is, and to provide affordable eggs.

Our Core Belief(s)

From the way things look around here, you'd think eggs were a luxury.


You'd think every company, nonprofit, branch of government and professional human ever produced was a special, unique, monetizable, branded t-shirt worthy visionary, shareable across multiple platforms, and indispensable to the world. Naturally, that's impossible.

Eggs are commonplace and should be easy to afford. And every business looks the same as every other one, especially those "who pride ourselves on being different than the rest" (sic).  

Go with the real difference: the people who will make you feel better about being alive in what eminent drummer/computer programmer Brandon Bone called "these H1N1 times."  

Give us your money. Why not? You were literally just going to throw it down a chimney. Instead, get off that roof, pay that money to us and we guarantee it will go to purchase fresh fruits and vegetables, which are healthy alternatives to milk shakes.


Advertise your lame company on our cool site.

Hire us to write your speeches, jokes, and brochures. Draw on our years of successful copywriting, copyediting and comedy developing experience to make yourself heard—not over the crowd, but through the crowd, thronged as it is with college-educated hucksters appealing to the hearts of teenagers who like shoes and can't spell.


Here's you: Yes. I would like to pay you money for this thing I have in mind.

Here's us: Congratulations, you are alive, and we'd love to hear what's on your mind.