• Tom McCauley

Nation's Brokedown Hasbeens To Get This Ragtag Jugband Shooting For The Stars Again

Updated: Mar 12

PEORIA, IL. - Resolving to make another go at it, the nation’s brokedown hasbeens announced a sweeping plan Saturday to get this ragtag jugband shooting for the stars again, according to various sources warming their hands by a fire. “Don’t let our faces smudged with soot fool you, it’s never too late to get the old medicine show back on the road, no sir,” said America’s down on their luck, appearing unusually focused as they continued to sketch dollar signs in the dirt with a stick. “By Jove, it’s time to get this ragged band of flea-bit sassafras eaters hustling up a storm again. No big-time society folk can keep a good fella down who has a dream and a jug,” said Bramblejelly Joe, 35, a spokesperson for the growing U.S. population of washboard players sipping homemade wine under the moon. At press time, the country’s devastated underclass of unemployed drifters were nodding off to sleep by the waning flames, their unshaven grins hinting at the kind of false hope countless peer-reviewed studies of longtime structural inequalities and massive economic disparities have indicated ought to break your doggone heart.

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